It’s the art that makes it real for me. The annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) — which starts tomorrow, you lucky ducks! — has made a point in recent yearsDisplaying openly artworks that are dedicated to the 45th president were allowed. Here is Donald Trump astride a lion, astride a tank surrounded by cash fluttering through the air, astride a Great White shark in the sky, astride a velociraptor while emptying the clip on a machine pistol with a bazooka strapped to his back, and he’s always in the same blue suit. The velociraptor is also carrying an American flag. By the pole. In its little velociraptor hands.
The CPAC confab can be either ignored or endured. I don’t come to work to ignore things, so endure it I shall, with deep gratitude for the art. You really have to see it to understand what I’m on about. The imagery could make milk curdle, as could the colors. It’s so lurid that Pennywise the Clown could eat it! Ever seen an evil clown monster gag before? You can.
It’s something I am grateful to, as it tells me exactly where and with whom I am dealing. Any group of minds capable of creating these nightmares on canvas should be avoided. It is cultish and reaches a level that beggars modern political context. Looking at it, the old rallying cry from Firesign Theater starts clanging in my head (“What is reality?”), and I am grounded again, once again certain that whatever this is, it ain’t reality.
You can tune in to see the attendees inspect it as they go. Don’t look at the paintings, look at them, and you’ll probably see what I saw last year. Some awed tears — my initial reaction, too, but for separate reasons — and hushed voices, flush faces, eyes unfocused like dusty marbles, and smiles. There were many smiles. I assume someone had to laugh at some point, but if they did, it wasn’t where these folks could hear it.
Taking place in Orlando, Florida, this year — OrlandoCPAC: The home of COVID safety measures that are almost non-existent and a destination for children around the world! — CPAC isn’t where the snake oil salesmen gather to compare notes. It’s where they milk the snakes. Tulsi Gabbard will also be speaking.
The honored speakers list is a murderer’s row of people who would motivate you to eat your own liver before getting stuck on an elevator with them.
Terrible peopleIn broad daylight, they will steal or disrupt the next presidential elections. At least one of the attendees will be reminiscing about the attack on the Capitol building last year. You can count on them getting together at some point. The whole event feels like a deep breath before taking the leap. Trump himself will be invading the scene on Saturday night. The whole thing will reach a crescendo so intense that Dante would have to dig for the level he somehow missed.
There must be high drama because they are Republicans. CPAC is Trump territory, suffused with Trump’s people looking for a slice of that gigantic Trump fundraising hoard. There are cracks developing in the seemingly invincible veneer of Trump ’24, however; Trump is in open conflict with Minority Leader Mitch McConnell over the fate of the party, and right there under the CPAC roof and in his own state, lead Trump rival Gov. Ron DeSantis is expected to be making the scene in Technicolor.
DeSantis was only granted a 20-minute slot on Friday afternoon. This scheduling lapse is hard to miss. Trump has been disparaging DeSantis over the past weeks, while DeSantis tries to avoid the man he may replace on the 2024 Republican presidential campaign ticket. If Trump uses his speaking time to re-hash the election he lost, and if he can’t help but to flip a few daggers at the current main challenger to his throne, it will be a spicy show for all. There is a lot happening within the GOP. CPAC has been like an old keg of dynamite. This year, that’s truer than ever.
And, like as not, somewhere in this year’s CPAC art gallery will be a portrait of Trump astride a bright red, snarling, furiously American Mack truck boiling the streets of Ottawa with smoke-swaddled tires. I know this painting exists. Art in adulations of authoritarianism is as old or as pigmented as sculpture, and it’s highly effective before the right audience.
This year, they will be at CPAC, rubbing their fascist wounds together in contemplation to abolish democracy in the name. Supply-Side Jesus. Let the million lithographs blossom.
