This one’s a doozy, guys. I’ve never seen a Reddit thread “locked because of excessive rule-breaking” but I guess there’s a first time for everything. It’s currently locked because people Really felt the need to give the poster advice, and apparently, that’s against the rules. Who can blame the commenters? There were so many red flags in her post, you’d think you were watching a sports-ball game. (I’m obviously ReallyIn sports analogies
A woman and her husband are expecting their first baby. They’ve been married for three years and have been together for five and they’re both in their late twenties. He works full time and although she used to work, her job wasn’t paying her enough and now she’s a full-time student.
They felt ready to start their family three weeks ago when they got a positive pregnancy check. What originally felt like wonderful news quickly turned bitter when the woman’s husband went on an unprovoked rant that included the quote, “You are still expected to cook, clean, and do Every day, all the chores because how can you be expected to be a mother if you can’t handle a little work.” Gross. It gets worse, guys. So buckle up.
The woman then turned to Reddit for help and asked if she was in the wrong for getting upsetAfter her husband informed her, she was basically on her feet for the duration of the pregnancy. Redditors’ didn’t hold back on what they thought, and you’ll probably have some opinions too.
The Turning Point
The couple was getting ready to go to bed one night. Like most couples, they have their “before bed routines” to finish before hopping in bed. Although it sounds simple, it’s actually quite complex. sheThere are chores she must do before going to bed. She said that she has to turn off all lights in her house before going to bed. HeContinues on. However, this particular night she wasn’t feeling well (pregnant, remember?). She was so sick that she asked her husband if they would turn the lights off in the house. But to her surprise, his response was a definite, “No.” Followed up with, “This is what is expected of you every night.” And, he just keeps winning husband-of-the-year awards. (First, red flag for those who keep track!)
She decided to just do it since she “didn’t want to fight with him” but he apparently had other plans. When she returned to the bed he told her that things aren’t going to change just because she’s pregnant. The woman said that he wasn’t yelling, but was “talking to me quietly like I was two inches tall.”
After his lengthy rant, she eventually asked, “What are you going to do to help me with all of this?” And his response was typical toxic patriarchal bullsh*t. He said that he works to provide for her and their future children. That should be enough. He ended his monologue by telling her that her mental and physical health doesn’t matter. That it’s her job as a mother to push through, and that if he “babied” her that she wouldn’t be a “good mother.” (Whew, the freaking nerve of this guy.)
She responded to his sexist, gross, misogynistic rant with a simple, “I wish I would’ve known this is how you felt before I got pregnant with your baby.” And, cue the tears. He began to cry and then he stopped. LeftTo stay with his mother.
Reddit’s Reaction
Redditors didn’t hold back in the comment section. Many offered advice to the woman on what to do after her husband showed his true colors. Many people pointed out that the situation would only get worse and that these were red alerts for more, escalated abuse.
They pointed out, among other things, that if she chose to continue the child’s pregnancy, he would be a nightmare co-parenting with her. Here are some comments from Redditors.
Redditor comments
One user stated, “Since he openly admits that his only contribution to raising his child will be financial, it seems like [she] won’t be losing anything by leaving–apart from having one less child to look after.”
Another stated, “Jumping on to say that abuse generally is triggered with changes in a relationship… like having a kid. RUN. I’ve seen too many women endure abuse ‘for my family.’ This is not your family this is your abuser.”
And here’s my favorite comment that sums it up nicely. “You asked him to turn off the lights in the house and this was how he responded. How is he going to respond if you, I don’t know, stop making breakfast because the food smells trigger your morning sickness? What if you are required to be on bed rest halfway through pregnancy? If you have postpartum depression (PPD) after giving birth. I could see him accusing you of faking it to get out of doing chores and giving you hell for it–or, worse, insisting you push through it because ‘it’s your job.’”
“This is 100 percent unacceptable behavior. Do you want your children to think this is how you should treat a partner? Never mind the fact that they will absolutely pick up on his belief that you should be treated as a completely selfless servant who lives to cater to everyone else’s wants and needs, while no one ever attends to yours. The fact that he actually went to his mother crying speaks volumes about his parenting style. There is absolutely nothing you can apologize for. Let him stay at his mother’s. Permanently.”
The Family’s Reactions
Both his mother and sister have told the woman that she’s overreacting and that she’s “broken his heart,” because of what she said. They insist that she should apologize to him. They know what he said to her, and believe that “all he meant was pregnancy isn’t an excuse to be lazy.”
Her mother, on the other hand, is furious with him and doesn’t think the woman should speak to him without a witness. (Yay mom!) After making edits to the original post, the poster stated that she was gathering items to stay with her parents. She also said the commenters have “opened her eyes” to certain issues she may have ignored in the past.
After her edit, we are hopeful that she gets as far away from her (crosses fingers) soon-to-be-ex-husband and finishes her degree. We are confident that she will make the right decision, so long as she isn’t enmeshed with him.
More from Suggest
This award-winning hair density serum has proven results for thicker, fuller hair.
The Wedding Day Rules Royal Brides Must Follow
What a Novelist Predicted About The World In 2022
