This week marks my 40th anniversary as a radio talk-show host.
I believe I have talked With — not to, with— more people than any living human being. Some people have probably spoken to more people that I have. In his one-minute address, the Chinese head state addresses more people than I have in 40 years. But I cannot think anyone alive who has spoken. With I have spoken with more people than I have. Even a therapist who has talked with 10 people a day for 40 years has talked with fewer people — because therapists talk to the same people repeatedly. I have almost always had conversations with different people.
As a talk-show host, I have the unique opportunity to study the human condition. This is especially true for me. I talk about many subjects — politics is only one of them. I talk about men and woman, religion, happiness and children as well as just about every other important topic.
This human laboratory has taught me a lot about the human condition.
Here are just a few examples:
No. No.
Ironically, it’s been through talking to so many people that I have realized how many people don’t have friends or people with whom they can freely express their thoughts. I thought lonely people were rare. What I’ve discovered is that people with real friendships are rare. It’s not surprising that the U.K. has an Ambassador for Loneliness.
No. 2: I wouldn’t be as wise if I didn’t talk to so many people. Callers (and letters-writers) have made my life more interesting, and I am grateful to them all. One of my favorite examples is the woman who called my show to discuss the topic of one of my weekly “Happiness Hours” (the second hour each Friday): “Can you be happier than your least happy child?”
She told me (and millions of listeners) that she had a “miserable” daughter in her 30s who had made her (the caller’s) life miserable. But one day she reached a conclusion: “I didn’t break her; I can’t fix her.” I profusely thanked that caller for helping countless people at that moment — and many more who have or will hear me quote her on the radio and in speeches.
No. 3: Without speaking with so many people I would not be able to know which views are outliers. I once said that I preferred my teenage son smoke weed to tobacco, decades ago. Virtually no caller agreed with me then — or now — on this subject.
No. 4: I have learned how true the dictum, “Never underestimate people’s intelligence and never overestimate their knowledge,” is. I have spoken to any number of foolish people — meaning, people with foolish ideas — but I have almost never spoken to a person I thought had a low IQ. In other words, the problem with people’s thinking is not that they lack the ability to absorb complex and deep subjects; it is that they do not think clearly.
No. 5. Being interesting is the most important quality for communicating. This is obvious when you first hear it, but if you ask someone to fill in the blank: “The single most important quality in communicating is… ” most people will not think to say being “interesting.”
It is the defining characteristic of all talk-show hosts. They are fascinating, no matter what political views they may have. If you’re not interesting, your audience will leave and you’ll lose your job. No matter how important what you have to say is, you must first hold people’s interest.
This holds true for all forms of communication. Music is one example. I have always wondered why I prefer one pianist’s performance of a Beethoven sonata to another pianist’s, or one person’s conducting of a Beethoven symphony to another’s. They are performing or conducting. The exact same notes.
Thanks to my realization of the most important quality in being a talk show host, I finally realized why I preferred one musician’s performance to another: The performance I preferred held my interest more, even if I didn’t like the interpretation as much.
They say radio has a limited future. This has been my experience for over 40 years. While it may be true that talk radio listeners are much larger than Fox News, it is not true. Should it gradually be replaced by podcasts, it will be a loss — as much as I appreciate podcasts and do two of my own. Hearing the voices of your fellow citizens in addition to that of the host and guests is of great importance — though I always tell beginning talk show hosts to end calls with a certain type of caller as quickly as possible: the ones that aren’t interesting.
I still love my job, even after 40+ years. To be able to tell millions of people what I think about just about everything — and be paid well to do so — is a gift. I am a lucky person, and I hope my listeners are, too.
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