Just Why Are Introverts So Hard To Talk To Sometimes? This May Explain Why

January 20, 2016Jan 20, 2016

Do you consider yourself an introvert? Do you find small talk unnecessary or unwanted? Do you find your energy easily drained by small talk?


A Huffington Post piece presents the opinions of psychologist and author Laurie Helgoe, who delves into what it is that makes introverts dread small talk.

Here are some of the things she found:
1. Introverts find small talk insincere and meaningless.
2. Introverts crave meaningful conversation and feel that small talk throws up a barrier to that.
3. Introverts' social battery has a small capacity, and it can be easily sapped by small talk.
4. On the other hand, if introverts engage in a deeper conversation that truly interests them, their batteries can stay at full for a long time.
5. A good way to interest an introvert is to talk about ideas.

But Helgoe points out that small talk is necessary for introverts because it helps them meet people, form vital relationships, and discover those deep dialogues they crave. She lists several suggestions for introverts in dealing with small talk:
1. "If you feel anxious about making small talk, remind yourself that your nervousness is coming from you and your beliefs, not the situation."
2. "Take the spotlight off yourself by asking questions."
3. "Embellish your responses."
4. "Deepen the conversation with open-ended questions."
5. "Go easy on yourself."

Are you an introvert or know one well? Do you agree with this author's conclusions?