I Was ‘Trying to Make Myself Desirable’ to Cole

Cole Barnett and Zanab Jeffrey
Courtesy of Netflix

As Love Is Blind followers are nonetheless reeling from the finale and reunion particular, Zanab Jaffrey bought candid about her difficult relationship with Cole Barnett — and the way he affected how she felt about herself.

“I did love him. The issues he was saying to me did harm. I used to be in some way attempting to make myself fascinating to him, whether or not or not it’s skinnier, or…” the 32-year-old flight attendant advised Selection on Wednesday, November 9, taking a breath and pausing earlier than she continued talking. “I’ve by no means had somebody communicate to me that method about my physique or consuming. That was very actual for me. I did change what I used to be consuming. I used to be simply consuming a banana. I did drop pounds by the marriage day. It had nothing to do with becoming into my marriage ceremony gown.”

Throughout Wednesday’s reunion, Zanab referred to as it Cole’s “saving grace” that the Netflix collection didn’t embody all of their tense moments. She then alleged that her then-fiancé pushed meals away from her, tried to “management” what she ate and made “each day feedback about [her] face and physique [that] weren’t used.”

Love Is Blind Zanab Jeffrey Cole Barnett Conversations About Looks

Cole Barnett and Zanab Jeffrey
Sara Mally/Netflix

When he denied her claims, she added: “And that’s nice as a result of it actually did defend you and also you at the moment are denying it and calling me a liar in entrance of all these folks.”

Following a number of references to the “cuties’ story,” the LIB reunion concluded with the beforehand unaired scene wherein Cole reminded Zanab that they’re having a “massive ‘ole supper tonight” as she ate two clementines. Throughout the scene, he additionally appeared confused when she stated she hadn’t eaten something however a banana all day, noting that he supplied her a poke bowl.

Whereas chatting with Selection, Zanab reacted to a different second that has made waves amongst viewers — Cole’s remark that he knew somebody named Zanab wouldn’t seem like his previous girlfriends.

“Everybody heard it. Even watching it again, I used to be like, wow, I actually didn’t hear that like everybody else heard it. I’ve gotten a whole lot of messages like what you simply stated: ‘He’s saying this,’” she stated, referring to the implication that Cole beforehand solely dated white girls. “Within the warmth of that second, I didn’t essentially hear it. However we’d had conversations about girls he beforehand dated. There have been many conversations about how I didn’t seem like it or stay as much as it.”

She added that she’s “doing nice” months after turning Cole down on the altar.

“I did go away that relationship damaged. I used to be devastated to not get married. I used to be unhappy that I had this nice love and it didn’t end in a wholesome relationship that became a contented marriage,” the truth star defined. “I acknowledged some stuff on myself that I used to be like, ‘Wow, I must go construct myself again up. I was a phrases of affirmation individual. I want to do this. I want reassurance. I must get again to myself and encourage myself.’ In order that’s actually what I’ve executed for the final yr. I did go to remedy after the marriage, as a result of I used to be like, ‘When this comes out, I’m going to need to revisit this and I don’t need to be slingshotted again to how low I really feel proper now.’ I’ve been in remedy for a yr, and I’ll in all probability proceed going to remedy as a result of I feel remedy is fantastic.”

Zanab concluded: “I’ve simply taken all that that relationship taught me and really simply been so egocentric this yr and poured into myself and liked myself exhausting and gave myself these affirmations as a result of I by no means need to be in that low of an area in a relationship ever once more. I simply need to give my healthiest, happiest self to somebody.”