Growing Up With Two Moms Was Incredibly Difficult And Confusing: Robert's Story

March 09, 2016Mar 09, 2016

Robert Lopez grew up with two moms. His biological mother got in a relationship with another woman (after his father was no longer in the picture) and the two women would spend every weekend together. He says growing up this way was incredibly difficult for him--both socially and in forming his sexual identity.


Here's a bit of his story from Life Site News. "Quite simply, growing up with gay parents was very difficult, and not because of prejudice from neighbors...When your home life is so drastically different from everyone around you, in a fundamental way striking at basic physical relations, you grow up weird."

Robert explains, "I had no male figure at all to follow, and my mother and her partner were both unlike traditional fathers or traditional mothers. As a result, I had very few recognizable social cues to offer potential male or female friends, since I was neither confident nor sensitive to others. Thus I befriended people rarely and alienated others easily. Gay people who grew up in straight parents’ households may have struggled with their sexual orientation; but when it came to the vast social universe of adaptations not dealing with sexuality—how to act, how to speak, how to behave—they had the advantage of learning at home. Many gays don’t realize what a blessing it was to be reared in a traditional home."

Robert grew up isolated and socially awkward. He believed that he was bisexual and got solicited by the LGBT community in college where he experienced very bad things. He shares, "Frightened and traumatized by my mother’s death, I dropped out of college in 1990 and fell in with what can only be called the gay underworld. Terrible things happened to me there."

Robert surprisingly ended up in a relationship with a woman and they had a child. He says that kids raised under two same-sex parents are more likely to be confused about their sexuality.  "I would posit that children raised by same-sex couples are naturally going to be more curious about and experimental with homosexuality without necessarily being pure of any attraction to the opposite sex. Hence they will more likely fall into the bisexual category, as did I..."

Robert speaks out today because he wants others like him to know they're not alone. "Whether homosexuality is chosen or inbred, whether gay marriage gets legalized or not, being strange is hard; it takes a mental toll, makes it harder to find friends, interferes with professional growth, and sometimes leads one down a sodden path to self-medication in the form of alcoholism, drugs, gambling, antisocial behavior, and irresponsible sex. The children of same-sex couples have a tough road ahead of them—I know, because I have been there. The last thing we should do is make them feel guilty if the strain gets to them and they feel strange. We owe them, at the least, a dose of honesty."

With an increase in children to be raised under same-sex couples, we're going to be seeing these effects and damages a lot more. We're thankful that Robert is speaking out about his experience, as not many talk about it.

What do you think of Robert's story? Let us hear your thoughts in the Comments! And would you say a prayer for him and others like him? Thank you!