Don't Know How To Talk To Your Kids? Michelle Obama Will Help

December 02, 2015Dec 02, 2015

Do your young millennial off-spring get a glazed looked in their eyes when you speak to them for more than six seconds? Does it feel like you don't even speak the same language anymore? Fret no more! Michelle Obama has told you how to feed your kids, and now she's telling you how to communicate with them, too.

According to, the first lady is telling the parents of America that they have it all wrong if the talk to their kids like they're educated beings. Instead, you need to talk on THEIR level.


Michelle tells you how:
1. “Don’t make the mistake of responding to a text using full sentences with proper grammar and punctuation.” In other words, don't worry about setting an example for your kids of what it takes to perform well in college and in the working world.
2. "If you really want to get their attention, use symbols, little symbols." Because in our post-language society, your kids no longer respond to the Roman alphabet.
3. "There’s the smiley face, the angry face, and all the other faces that can show any emotion that you may be feeling.” Because a handful of emojis can represent every possible combination of movement that the 42 muscles in your face can make.
4. “Don’t waste your time trying to connect with your kids via email. That antiquated method is as useless as Morse code." Electronic mail is so 2000s. Just like your CD player and dumbphone, your teens probably don't even know what it is.
5. "[Kids] want content that’s authentic and raw — nothing polished, nothing packaged.” Start with raw, guttural noises. Then try caveman grunts.

Not surprisingly, Michelle's parental advice has garnered some criticism.

Texas Eagle Forum president Cathie Adams may have summed it up best in LifeZette when she commented, “Ms. Obama is typical of the liberal mindset, which is to fall under trendy ideas rather than to model and counsel excellent behavior. Her advice can either model the highest and best standards for her daughters, or it can acquiesce to the lowest common denominator.”

Do you think the first lady trying to dumb down our society and insult your intelligence at the same time?