Colleges Give Guidelines On How To Make Families Feel Guilty For Thanksgiving Meal

November 23, 2016Nov 23, 2016

Leave it to liberals to try to take all the fun and festivity out of American holidays.

According to Campus Reform, a number of colleges and universities are offering guidelines on how to make families feel guilty for their Thanksgiving meals. Here's how:

— Insist on reusable dishes. Harvard University argues that, “Not only is it better, but who likes cutting turkey with a plastic knife and hoping the gravy won’t soak through the paper plate?” (Editor's note: I didn't know eating Thanksgiving Dinner on paper plates was a common tradition.)
— Limit your intake. Harvard also advises students to "eat mindfully," which is a phrase that means absolutely nothing. They suggest regulating how much turkey and non-organic food you stuff into your system.
— Eat meat while riddled with guilt. Harvard reminds students that “The meat industry is the number one source of methane gas, which is a major contributor to climate change. Another major environmental impact of a meat-eating diet is the depletion of natural resources.”
— Pay twice as much for your bird. "Mass-produced turkeys in America are raised in poor, unhealthy conditions, which is why we suggest buying organic!” warns Temple University in Philadelphia.
— Better yet, just skip the turkey altogether. "There are plenty of meatless alternatives to turkey. Just a quick pinterest search will result in hundreds of delicious recipes," Temple suggests.
— Drown your meatless sorrows in eco alcohol. Temple suggests that when choosing your dinner wine, make sure it's "made with sustainable energy."
— Make your festive Thanksgiving tablescape look like dirt. Toss the "tacky petroleum-based plastic pumpkin," says Temple, in favor of "pine cones and leaves." (Editor's note: I would suggest checking the pine cones for spiders first. They love hiding in those things.)
— Turn off your ozone-depleting oven entirely. Offset your energy usage and carbon emissions from last year by "making no-bake desserts that don't require the oven to be tasty," says the University of California, Santa Barbara. (Editor's note: So, not only will your dinner be stone cold, but so will your desserts and hot drinks.)
— Then try to destroy what little appetite anyone has left by making them feel guilty for everything. Michigan State University suggests that “When you gather with your elders over the holiday, encourage them to talk about when things weren’t protected the way they are now. They could talk about when the Cuyahoga River caught fire, or when piles of alewives washed up on the beaches of the Great Lakes, or local sites of environmental pollution.”
— Finally, give thanks to the only ones who really deserve it. Michigan State University reminds students to give thanks for “legislation and laws that protect these resources, the individuals who created them and those who enforce them.”

When the eco-police go to this length to make us feel guilty for what we're eating on this one day of the year more than any of the other 364 days of the year, it's hard to see it as not simply another attack on an American tradition that the Progressives thoroughly detest.

What do you think?