In a gripping and deeply insightful episode of The Mark Howley Show, host Mark Howley sits down with Ross Finke, a veteran interventionist with over 40 years of experience, to unpack one of society’s most misunderstood challenges: managing substance abuse within families and relationships.
Finke, whose career has spanned the rise and evolution of addiction treatment, dismantles long-held myths around drug and alcohol abuse. The central theme of the conversation is powerful and clear: addiction is not a moral failing, it is a brain disorder. “Their brain has basically been hijacked by the drugs,” Finke explains, challenging the stigma that often isolates those who suffer from addiction and the families who love them.
The episode offers a masterclass in navigating the emotional minefield that families face. Finke outlines a structured “road map” that families can follow, anchored by two essential principles: education and support. “You can’t fix this person,” he emphasizes. “But you can learn how to stop making it easier for them not to get help.” Finke also reveals three common mistakes families make: relying on rational conversation, making emotional appeals, and waiting for the person to “hit rock bottom.” Each, he warns, can delay meaningful action and deepen despair. Instead, he advocates for escalating levels of structured intervention, ranging from simple requests for professional conversations to full-scale formal interventions, all grounded in empathy, preparation, and boundaries. Perhaps most striking is Finke’s unflinching honesty.
He recounts harrowing interventions, including with his own son, where love meant setting boundaries so firm that they resulted in a year-and-a-half of estrangement. “I can’t cosign what you’re doing right now,” he told his son. That hard boundary, however, helped pave the way to six years of recovery. What makes this episode particularly valuable is its focus on action. Rather than simply raising awareness, Finke arms listeners with practical steps they can take, from joining support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon to learning how to safely and effectively participate in interventions. He stresses that families must work just as hard on their own support systems as they do on encouraging treatment for their loved ones. The emotional burden on those who care is significant, and without the right tools and support, even well-intentioned help can backfire.
The conversation also touches on the shifting landscape around addiction. Finke discusses how institutional support has declined in some areas, with schools and smaller companies often lacking the resources to intervene early. Meanwhile, the broader acceptance and legalization of substances like cannabis has added complexity to how society defines, discusses, and addresses substance abuse. Finke emphasizes that the disease of addiction manifests uniquely in each person, and that judgment or blanket assumptions are unhelpful. A one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work. What does work, he says, is compassion with structure, love with boundaries, and consistent education.
By the episode’s end, listeners are left with more than just information, they’re given a clear framework for compassionate action. Whether dealing with a loved one’s addiction or simply seeking to understand it better, this episode is a must-listen. In a world where addiction remains stigmatized and misunderstood, The Mark Howley Show offers clarity, empathy, and a way forward.
