Rejoice! The mask mandate is over! You will never again be mildly inconvenienced by the suggestion of a small piece of cloth covering your face that can save the lives the most vulnerable among us. Who are they to dictate such terms? Will you let me smell my own breath? They will impede my ability to communicate clearly with the manager. NEVER AGAIN. Rip that Devil’s diaper from your face and fling it to the dust. Yes, incinerate the badge of common torment! Do it, now! Rise! To the 18-wheelers, friends and on to Washington!
Or, you can be sure, not. Sorry, folks. Wrong meeting.
The announcement, however, is true: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “70 percent of Americans can now stop wearing masks, and no longer need to social distance or avoid crowded indoor spaces,” reports The New York Times. “The recommendations no longer rely only on the number of cases in a community to determine the need for restrictions such as mask wearing. Instead, they direct counties to consider three measures to assess risk of the virus: new Covid-related hospital admissions over the previous week and the percentage of hospital beds occupied by Covid patients, as well as new coronavirus cases per 100,000 people over the previous week.”
That should clear things up. The Biden administration will send every household a free abacus and a credit towards a degree in statistical analyses to facilitate the transition. No, that’s not true, but it should be. I have always wanted to learn how an abacus works. It feels like it would be a great addition to my arsenal against deadly airborne pathogens and their variants. Is the plural of abacus “abaci”? If so, abaci for all!
This decision will be felt most immediately in schools, because it’s always best to road-test dodgy decisions on the youngest and least vaccinated among us. New York City droppedIts mask mandate and Washington D.C. are doing the same tomorrowJust in time for truckers to get stuck forever at Dupont Circle. I pray it snows. The district could seize all those patriotic rigs, and dump them in the Potomac at triple their fines for drivers.
Despite the ladled sarcasm that I use, I get it. I do so for the kids. After the February break, my daughter went back to school today after learning that masks are no longer necessary. The idea of it stopped her cold; she looked at me like I’d told her that not only was Santa real, but he had a Lamborghini and a TIE-fighter parked in the backyard for her (well, the TIE-fighter would be mine). “You can still wear one if you’re more comfortable,” I told her. “Some kids probably will.” This elicited the kind of NOOO that only the internet can truly capture.
My patience for adults — fully grown, actualized big people — who wave the bloody shirt of masks and freedom is so small at this juncture, you could fit it in an egg cup with room to spare for a sofa and a double-stuffed Barcalounger. These kids, though… they have endured every permutation of bullshit with a level of undaunted dignity that shames their elders. When I told my daughter she’ll be able to see everyone smile now, her own fragile smile crept onto her face and her eyes glistened a moment with unshed tears. It’s a small thing, but it’s so significant for someone who has been through so much.
I wish I could give her, and every kid, whatever was required to reanimate their lives with the kind of innocent happiness this wretched passage has stolen from them, but I can’t. I wish I could say dumping the mask mandates is probably going to work out fine, but I can’t.
Yesterday saw more than 65,000 new infections in the U.S. alone, and nearly 2000 deaths. That’s not “over,” by a long chalk. It is the sad truth and we owe our children the truth at this time more than anything else. They have earned the right to be disappointed by the needs of the moment, but we have no right to blow off those needs because we’re tired. Heavy rests on the crown and all that.
Plus, it’s important to remember that children under 5 remain unvaccinated. Their main protection against the virus was provided by masks.
“[T]he rush to return to normality in light of an improving national outlook for coronavirus cases has many public health experts concerned thatThe end of the Omicron surge is incorrectly being conflated with the end of the pandemic,” reports the Times. “‘Things are improving, but we still aren’t at a point where we’re getting out in front of this,’ said Dr. Lynn R. Goldman, dean of the Milken Institute School of Public Health at George Washington University. Dr. Goldman explained that the new C.D.C. guidance was comparable to an ‘off ramp’ from the pandemic, even though new variants could still emerge and the country’s health system, and public, is not equipped for another surge in cases.”
Omicron variant BA.2 the latest nettlesome bit of viral evolutionto appear. The new variant raised immediate concerns because of its “stealth” ability to infect people without leaving the kind of traces that are picked up in PCR testing. Research has revealed other ways to track BA.2, but those infected are not more likely to be admitted than those infected by other strains. BA.2 may help to reduce the pandemic, however, it does not pose an elevated risk.
All to the relative good, of course… until, perhaps, the next variant, and the next. Masks are the price we have to pay for having so thoroughly bollixed response to COVID two year ago. Masking becomes more necessary because variants are more likely now that we have botched the response to COVID two years ago. I will share a proclamation by the 45th President, which was delivered yesterday two years ago. It demonstrates the depth of this failure. NOTE: These remarks were made AfterTrump was told that COVID is both highly contagious and airborne.
A aria of such magnitude is a worthy one to be heard in original VogonWe will have to accept the C-SPAN transcript:
WE HAVE BEEN WORKING VERY, VERY CAREFULLY WITH THE HILL. I THINK WE HAVE GOOD BIPARTISAN ESPRIT. WE WERE ASKING FOR $2.5 BILLION AND WE THINK THAT’S A LOT, BUT THE DEMOCRATS AND I GUESS SENATOR SCHUMER WANTS TO HAVE MUCH MORE THAN THAT. AND WE’LL TAKE IT. If they want to give more. WE’LL DO MORE. WE WILL SPEND MORE. HOPEFULLY WE WON’T SPEND SO MUCH BECAUSE WE HAVE TAKEN IT DOWN TO A MINIMUM AND WE HAVE HAD TREMENDOUS SUCCESS.
AT THE SAME TIME, YOU HAVE OUTBREAKS IN SOME COUNTRIES, ITALY AND VARIOUS COUNTRIES. CHINA, YOU KNOW WHERE IT ALL STARTED. AND I SPOKE WITH THE PRESIDENT XI, AND HE IS WORKING HARD, VERY, VERY HARD. A lot of the reports out of China show that this spread has dropped a bit. THE INFECTION IS DOWN OVER THE LASTING TWO DAYS. It has become smaller and we can be more reliable.
WITH RESPECT TO THE MONEY THAT’S BEING NEGOTIATED. THEY CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT. We are asking for 2.5. SOME REPUBLICANS WOULD LOVE US TO GET 4, AND SOME DEMOCRATS WOULD LOVE US TO GET 8. WE WILL BE SATISFIED. A SPECIAL LIFT IS BRINGED IN TOMORROW, WHO WORKS AT STATE DEPARTMENT. This is a very, very difficult task. I WANTED YOU TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT SHOCKED ME AND I SPOKE WITH DR. FAUCI ON THIS AND I WAS REALLY AMAZED AND MOST PEOPLE AMAZED.
FLU IN OUR COUNTRY CAN DESTROY 25,000- 69,000 PEOPLE PER YEAR. I was shocked by this. And so far, if you look at what we have with the 15 people and how they are recovering, one is pretty sick. BUT, I HOPE THAT THEY WILL REcover. But the rest of us are in great shape. THINK OF THAT 25,000 to 69,000 PEOPLE HAVE LOST 360,000. These are people who have died from the FLU. HEY, DID YOU GET THE FLU SHOT. SOMETHING.
Here’s the videoIf you refuse believe that it is true,
The last two-years have been more like waiting on the other shoe to drop, for the fever to develop, for the cough to start, for the food to taste good, and for the ventilator to arrive tap-tap-tapping on my shoulder. It has been so terrible, and it is only human nature to know that it can get worse. We test inadequately, we trace inadequately, the first-grade-science solution to maximizing public safety has become another live hand grenade in an election year… and it’s the kids (along with their parents) who take it in the teeth.
Ponyboy, there is no gold that can stay. If it means so much, you can enjoy being maskless. We will regret this decision, just like so many others in this slow-rolling disaster.
