And as Chapman reminds us, “The good news is that whatever God commands, He enables us to do.”
“In the early days of my marriage,” he writes, “my wife and I were fairly miserable. We both wondered if we had married the wrong person.”
Chapman prayed to God, asking Him for help, confessing that he had nowhere else to go, and had run out of answers. Instantly, the image came to mind of Jesus kneeling on His knees, washing the feet of His disciples.
The moment changed his life. Before then, he saw that the problem of his marriage lay in the behavior of his wife – that she wouldn’t listen to him as he wanted.
But he realized that the problem for him dealt with his attitude. He prayed for forgiveness, asking God to “let me see her as one whom You love, and let me be Your agent for loving her.”
In looking back, Chapman attributes that prayer of humility the one moment that impacted his marriage more than any other, because God changed his attitude. He challenges his readers with these three questions for a healthy marriage:
What can I do for you? How can I make your life easier? How can I be a better husband to you?
The answers to these questions were startling – how his wife answered them changed Chapman’s behavior.
“Love is the choice to cooperate with God in serving your spouse,” Chapman writes. “The individuals who truly love see themselves as God’s agents for enriching the lives of their marriage partner. For them, love is a way of life. They are constantly looking for ways to help, encourage and support the partner.”