Katy Perry – the pop star born as Katheryn Hudson – sat down with a therapist in a recent televised session that she streamed to her fans. It gave those who love and adore her an intimate look at some of the complexities and inner struggles that have plagued her.
In a transparent look at her childhood, Perry acknowledged that she was raised in a Christian home which, she says, she would not change – that she loves her parents, but felt at times rules kept her from exploring the world around her, which she was admittedly curious about.
She felt singing was one venue where she could explore that world and have experiences. But her journey took her down a darker road, driving her toward depression and suicidal thoughts. Grappling with her inner struggles, she reached a low point where suicide seemed like the only option.
“I feel ashamed that I would have those thoughts, feel that low and that depressed,” she said.
Perry recognized during those low times that it was the grace of God which brought her back out of that depression. She wrote a song about it.
“I wrote that song ‘By the Grace of God’ because I do believe in something much bigger than me and I call that God for me,” she said. “I know that God has His hand on me, and I know sometimes I go through things and they’re just too intense and I can’t handle them and then He swoops in and He shows me that it’s His grace that brings me through it.”
Watch the therapy session in full here:
In an effort to distance herself from the famous name everyone associates with her, Perry cut and died her hair to platinum blond.
“I so badly want to be Katheryn Hudson that I don’t even want to look like Katy Perry anymore,” she told the therapist. “That is a little bit why I cut my hair, because I really want to be my authentic self.”
Her parents remain devout Christians who urge those who want help their daughter to pray for her. “I want you to pray for my daughter,” said Keith Hudson, her father. “Don’t judge her, pray for her.”