While every relationship takes work and compromise, there’s one type of relationship that may need a little bit more help. If you’ve found yourself dating or (gasp!) married to a Man-Child, first, know that you’re not alone. However, there will be a lot more learning to take place. You and your Man Child will have to change some of the habits in order for the relationship to survive.
Because eventually, raising a Manchild (especially if you have children) will result in burn-out. Everyone is already at the edge of burnout so any way we can reduce our stress is crucial.
What then is a man-child?
A Man-Child isn’t an ordinary man who might occasionally leave his socks on the bathroom floor. No, he’s a special type of man who no matter how often they’re asked or reminded to complete a task can’t seem to find the time. Honestly, they would never do it–even if they were reminded.
He may spend more hours on his phone or playing online games than he realizes. Weaponized incompetence is his go-to tactic when it’s his turn to make dinner, do laundry, or start the kids’ nighttime routine. “But you do it so much better,” is his common phrase when he doesn’t want to engage in a task.
He is not a person who takes responsibility. He may be stuck in a routine that was easy for him in his teens or early 20s. While he may be charming, he’s also impulsive, horrible with money, and ultimately selfish. And, hygiene? He doesn’t know her.
What To Do If You’ve Married A Man-Child
According to Dr. Jenn MannAs a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist there are some things you can do for a partner who is struggling. Dr. Mann told InStyleStop enabling is one way to encourage behavior changes.
She stated that if you do your work for him, it rewards the bad behavior. It is hard to admit that he has made mistakes, but he will eventually have to correct them. He will eventually run out of clean clothes. So, grin, bear it, and don’t give in.
Dr. Mann says that establishing clear boundaries is another way to ensure your relationship lasts. Clear boundaries and expectations will ensure that there are no misunderstandings about your partner’s chores and tasks.
Don’t forget to thank him for helping around the house and doing other things without asking. A simple “thank you” may help encourage him to continue to be helpful.
If all of that sounds exhausting or too much, that’s okay. There’s always the option to leave. Dr. Mann cautioned that the threat of leaving should not be used as a manipulative tool. “Do not threaten divorce or separation as a way of manipulating him if you’re not prepared to do it. However, if you have genuinely reached your breaking point, divorce or separation may be the only viable option,” Dr. Mann advised.
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